35yrs, Old and I have finally found the beginning of my happiness. So many years of making everyone else happy and putting everyone else above myself. NEVER EVER ABOVE MY CHILDREN but always above me! I did it because I needed the love and the approval. Not once did I want to believe that my kindness was unappreciated and the love wasn't real, but I knew. No what I did there was always that emptiness. There was always the feeling of being incomplete.
People look at me and think they know what I am about. They think they know the kind of person I am. They know nothing!
My journey has been one heck of a journey. I have shared my story with some. It is kind of funny because when I tell my story I get the same reaction almost everytime. The reaction from people who have known me for a long time is usually "I can't believe it!" or "I wish I would have known." The reaction I get from people who have just met me or have just known me for a short while is "I would have never known by talking with you and looking at you."
I started writing a book about the story of my life but I stopped because it is not just them that my story would affect but their families. My story is a very familiar one. It is one that has been told over and over. I am going to tell it anyway and this time I am not going to stop!
My story may be yours and maybe just maybe I can help you learn to deal. I am still learning myself but I have always been the best at giving advice just not as good at taking the advice I give out. (lol)
Writing is my way to heal and I ran from it. I am not running anymore! It is time to face up and let go. Ride this ride with me, it's free....
Before I end my very first post I have to dedicate and thank my sister Niecy. It is because of you and your book that had me start writing again. I thank you for your encouragement and help. I am anxious to share this with you and hope that you will see me who I really am! I love you!